Be the Center of Attention - Anytime, Anywhere

By Jim DeSantis

When you are a socially-skilled person, you will achieve a higher level of greatness only because other people will promote you by telling others what a great person you are to be around or to do business with. Yes, these skills will help you make lots of money.



My friend "Red" was the consummate people-person. He made a small fortune selling used cars - part time! People made an appointment with him just to buy from him and only him! They spread the word to their friends that Red was the go-to guy for a used car.



When you master the following social skills, you will have the trust and all-out support of others just like Red. These will be people you have helped who are eager to help you. All you have to do is ask and they will bend over backwards to get you what you need. This gives you a small army of people who will help you achieve anything your heart desires.



Once you learn the following social skills and apply them, you reach a level self-empowerment never imagined by you. In effect, self-empowerment is making a general overhaul of your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. You just have to know and apply the following 10 skills.



1. Be genuine.



Make sure you go at this with good motives. People can read a phony and you will be stopped before you can even get started because people will tell others to keep away from you.



Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet. Once they perceive that you have selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.



2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.



To earn the love and trust of people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact and listen intently because every word they speak matters. And, ask questions to draw them out. Resist giving them unsolicited advice. Just listen, ask questions, and listen some more. Soon they will see that you are a person they can confide in.



3. Laugh out loud.



Don't force yourself to laugh at every joke or comment if you do not find it funny. A polite smile is fine in that case but, if it's funny to you, laugh out loud. Find humor in things and don’t be deadly serious about everything. When you display an awesome sense of humor, you will attract others and eventually, build successful relationships.



4. Don't forget yourself.



In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, guard against allowing others to walk all over you. If you love and value yourself before anyone else, if you see yourself worthy of affection and respect, people will flock to you and not simply use you. What do I mean by this? It's a fact that some people will see your personality as weak and will not take you seriously. Ignore them and move to others who appreciate you.



5. Be a "good-deed-doer.”



You don't have to give until you are broke. In fact, money is the worst thing you can give. Instead, do little acts of kindness. These matter most and can be as simple as sending someone a surprise "Thinking of you" card or helping someone acquire something they need through one of your friends or contacts. I often use my network of acquaintances to make things happen for others with a simple phone call.



6. Contact your old friends.



Many friendships are destined to end for various reasons beyond our control. But, thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you, and them, feel good all over.



If you locate them, don't make direct contact at first. Instead, break the ice by sending a card with your phone number enclosed. Invite them to contact you. Let things take a natural course. They may have reasons for not renewing the friendship.



7. Kill your negative personality.



Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally a doom-and-gloom person? If you are, I'll bet you can count your friends and acquaintances on one hand! Get rid of those traits and habits that have been hampering your growth. No one wants to be around a grouch.



8. Be confident.



This takes courage at first but learn to move around a room of people and purposely introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant. Apply #1 and #2 above as you meet and greet new people.



9. Practice control.



When angry, don't snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of the situation. Transform your anger into something more productive. If your anger rises to gigantic proportions easily, people will find it hard to confide in you. In fact, people will avoid you.



10. Keep nurturing your relationships.



Whatever happens in life, your relationships with your family, friends and significant others are so precious that you must not neglect them. Keep them active by going out and having fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never elude you when the people who matter most to you are close to you.



In the end, self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It's a win-win situation - people know they can turn to you for help and comfort and they will be eager to return the favor.



Yours for success in life.

Jim DeSantis

For more tips like this, visit Jim's Personal Challenges blog at http://on-line-tribune-personal-challenges.blogspot.com . For helpful eBooks, visit Jim's eBooks Library at http://www.libraryfordummys.jdanswers.com .

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Answer These 7 Questions To Gain A Better Life

By Jim DeSantis

Whether or not you realize it, average folks actually make it possible for other average folks to become winners. This is the time to evaluate yourself and your future. It takes some real, heart felt honesty. If you really want to change your life for the better, here is how to start.



Above all, you must believe that you have the potential to do just about anything you dream of doing and that you can become just about anybody you want to become.



We all have our perceptions of the ideal life. It can be obtaining financial freedom or as simply as becoming an under par golfer. The truth is, many people fail to achieve their dream because they can’t get a solid, clear pictures in their mind of what they really want out of life. You may have already entertained the thought of what would be your ideal life. You quickly dismissed the thought as not possible because you had no idea how to get there or, perhaps, you think too lowly of yourself.



Print this article and, over the next few days, go on an inner fact-finding journey that, I promise, will be a life-changing experience. As you move through these steps, write it all down in a notebook. Write down every thought, feeling, and ah-ha moment!



If I were face-to-face with you right now, I would ask - "Do you think you know what you really want?"



If you can't tell me, you need to move through the rest of this article.



Start by letting your thoughts run wild, then focus on identifying that one overwhelming desire that you keep going back to in your mind. Don't be swayed to change your mind at this point. If you give up easily in this first step, you are already beaten before you start. Maybe you’re still a bit confused and aren’t sure what you really want in life? Here are the 7 Powerful Questions you must answer to have the Ideal Life! Answer these questions as honestly as you dare!



1) What makes your heart beat with excitement?

2) What would be that one thing that would make you happy?

3) What are you constantly thinking of day and night?

4) What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

5) What makes you feel successful when you do it?

6) What are your obsessions, passions?

7) What one thing makes you jump for joy every time you do it or see it done by others?



Write down all your possible answers to the above questions. Write down everything, no matter how silly or unimportant it seems. You can have more than one answer for each question at this point.



When that’s done, go back and circle five to seven items that interest you the most. Then evaluate and choose with your emotions, not your logic, what you believe is the one and only thing worthy to spend all your time and resources to attain which will bring out the best in you.



If you wind up with, “I want to play quarterback for the Dolphins” and you’re more than 25 years old, I'd say - snap out of it. The Bible says you are not to "think too highly of yourself, nor, too lowly.” It's a balance. What if you would really like to be involved in pro football? You could do something related to football. How about starting a sports website or blog? Or perhaps a sporting goods retail business, sports memorabilia business, or even a gym could be the answer. Maybe get a job with a pro team in the front office or coach a local team. The point is, no matter what your dream, don't limit any choices until you have examined each one. When you identify a need, fill it using your talent and ability.



At this point in our process, however, no matter how “pie in the sky” your dream might seem, use your emotions as your guide and, above all, keep this process to yourself. Others will disagree with you. They want to keep you at their level so be quiet about what you really want. If you must ask others for advice, ask people who have some expertise in the area you are interested in. You wouldn't ask a poor relative what financial investments to make, would you?



Each of us gets only one shot at living life to the fullest. There are no replays and you don’t get to do it over. You may not do it all perfectly but you owe it to yourself to go for it. Too many lives have been lived in quiet desperation waiting until – until they had saved a nest egg, until the children are out of school, until I retire. The sad thing is they depart this life before “until” ever arrives. My Dad, when he was late in life, told me - "Son, don't be like me. Go for everything life has to offer." He was great Dad and a great provider for our family but he set aside his dreams along the way. If his dream was to be a great Dad, that's one thing, but I know he had dreams he let pass and he regretted it.



Don’t go to sleep tonight without making a choice about how you really want the rest of your life to go. Hold onto that thought as you fall asleep. When you awake, start the day focusing on how to make it possible and make a living at it. Begin living every day as if you are running out of time, never leaving anything to be done next week, next month, or next year. Absorb information and advice from people who already "know" how to do what you want to do. When you know what they know, you will be doing it too.



It won't be easy. There will always be bills, things will always break down eventually and need replacing, there may be storms and earthquakes and repairs – but there is only this one life for you to live. Don't allow anything or anyone to deter you from your dream. This is how winners - win!



Why let your dreams pass you by? Why be the average person who is always helping someone else be a winner in life when you can be that winner?

Jim DeSantis is a retired broadcast journalist who publishes the Personal Challenges blog at http://on-line-tribune-personal-challenges.blogspot.com and who also edits the Library for Dummy's website at http://www.libraryfordummys.jdanswers.com

Article Source: http://www.free-articles-zone.com