"Creatures flock together with their kind, doves with doves, cranes with cranes and so on." ancient Greek philosopher Democritus (c.460 BC)
What characteristics do you look up to most in your closet friends?
It's Not Just for the Birds!
I'm positive you have frequently heard the age-old adage, "Birds of a feather flock together." As you are able to ascertain from the above quote attributed to Democritus, that bit of wisdom has been around a long, long time.
Your parents likely used it with you to discourage you from running with the "wrong crowd." Perhaps you've utilized it with your children for much the same reason. Over the past few years however, I've discovered a couple, perhaps not-so-obvious extensions of what the phrase means...at any rate they were never apparent to me.
Why This Works
Before I go on, let's take a step back and consider why this axiom works in the first place. I think you'll concur with me that it has pretty much been a given that folks choose to be close to those who are most like them. There are exceptions, naturally, but in general, affluent folks like to hang with others of means; people with less feel moderately out of place or awkward around very moneyed people; farmers want to hang with other farmers...they don't feel there's much to talk about with those city slickers; and the other way around, of course; teenagers prefer to hang with teenagers, not with young professionals, and generally not with those of us kindly labeled "mature" citizens; and at the risk of being politically improper, ethnic groupings are inclined to favor being with their own ethnicity.
This boils down to a comfort thing. It is a what do I say and what can I talk about thing. It's all about connecting to one another. Birds of a feather tend to flock together. You may not like to acknowledge it, but it's a pretty universal truth.
Extension #1
This extends way beyond the familiar list of demographics, such as social status, line of work, age, race, etc. And that leads us into the not-so-obvious extensions of this proverb. The first, that I've heard multiple times over the past couple of years, is that you are able to anticipate someone's income pretty closely by simply knowing the incomes of their five or six nearest allies or companions.
Hmmmm...ever thought of that? (Now I acknowledge there are exceptions, so don't write me with all that you know about.) If this is totally about one's comfort zone, would you be more motivated to step away from your comfortableness if you recognized it was going to bear significantly on your earning potential? I'm not moralizing here, instead simply voicing an observation. I recognise that values, ethics, and other equally significant issues need to be considered, but in general, if you associate with people who are a step or two above you economically, you will begin to believe like them, be exposed to similar opportunities that they are, and so gradually become more likely to arrive at decisions similar to theirs, and on it goes.
Extension #2
The second not-so-obvious extension I wanted to discuss was well-articulated recently when Leo Babuata contributed an article to the "Dumb Little Man" Blog in which he wrote, "Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can't help it. But if you're around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You'll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones."
Outstanding advice! Why give ear to folks who are forever operating to draw you down, emotionally and mentally? It works the other way as well...if you're "wired" to see the glass half empty and you would like to change, do all you are able to to spend a good deal of time around people who are "wired to see the glass half full."
Bottom Line
Bottom line? Don't allow yourself to be a victim of this age-old adage. Be responsible for learning how to employ the proverb as an instrument to make you grow. Remember...it's always a choice...your choice!
Jerry Graham, Ph.D., D.Min., is a professional life coach and one of the charter members and guides of Renegade Network Marketing University, which uniquely incorporates step-by-step video tutorials and explanations that a beginner can easily follow.
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